Seems like no one ever has as much of it as they want, right? When we have no money to throw, we spend our time instead, as though it were somehow less important. But it isn't. It's one of those things that we can never make back. Money comes and goes but time just goes.

I went for a walk early this morning (yes, in the Wisconsin snow). First I had to tromp down the slushy drive of the apartment complex I live in... very slippery and on a hill. In spite of that, everyone had to take the curves at 40 mph. There are no sidewalks, so pedestrians have no choice but to walk in the driveway itself. Somehow, at 8 a.m., their time is worth their own lives, the lives of anyone in the car with them, and anyone stupid enough (read as me) to be outside their apartment and not in a car. Saving two minutes now was worth gambling on losing 40 years.

I used to be those people. I ran, I toed someone else's line and worked someone else's schedule. It felt like I never had enough time; I was always so busy, going from one emergency to another. But for all the time I lost to other people's schedules and making someone other than me rich, I never enjoyed any of that time. It was all wasted thoughtlessly.

I continued down the drive to the street and thanked the goddess of the civilizing principle for sidewalks. The drivers once I got to the street were no better than the ones who'd tried to mow me down. Is that extra two minutes worth the stress and traffic?

No.

I turned at the first side-street, into the residential area. Just a few steps, and it was like a different world. So still. Not quiet; I could still hear the cars roaring by behind me. But still. The air even smelled different, crisp without the bite of car exhaust, even though it was only a few hundred yards. Wind shook snow showers out of the trees. As the cars faded, I could hear someone shovelling ahead of me. I moved forward at my own pace, slowing down to watch some birds, picking my way around the ice. I was free. I could walk at whatever speed I wanted, go wherever I wanted... and I was responsible only to myself.

Savoring that time made me think back to all the time I'd wasted matching someone else's ideas about being productive and successful. Freelance jobs are thin right now, but I feel more successful today, for having thoroughly and mindfully enjoyed my morning, for not overlooking even a minute of my time, than I felt when I was the head of a department or the lead designer at a paper or standing on a stage.